Here I am desperately trying to get back on track in terms of writing weekly blogs; here's hoping!!!
Last week started with the birth of my great nephew, a great grandson for my Mom, another grandson for my brother Nick and a something cousin for Morgan and Tristan; and so often in life there is a birth and then a death and in reverse. As the sun set in Gauteng yesterday, my "second Mom" and Morgan's godmother, passed away being released from the pain and suffering of dementia.
Ben Helm was born at about 3.23am on Monday, 13 May 2024, he was overdue and Lauren's waters broke 36 hours before he was born so he was on a 5 day course of antibiotics so Mom and baby only went home to Philip (my nephew) and Sam (big brother to Ben) on Saturday; both are doing well and Nick told me that he had enjoyed a long cuddle with Ben on Saturday reporting that he was very alert and content.
Lauren, Sam, Philip and baby Ben
On Sunday, at Mom's request, Johan and I collected fish and chips from Fisherman's Kitchen in Bryanston and took the food to my Mom where we sat on her patio enjoying her beautiful garden and the eager birds devouring their lunch from the bird feeder in her garden, and we were talking about Doreen and we said that when the time came for her pain and suffering to end we would know and that evening I got a message from Doreen's daughter informing me of Doreen's death. My Mom and Doreen grew up in Queenstown, Doreen was a year or two older than my Mom and was similarly ahead of my Mom at the Grahamstown Training College. My earliest memory of Doreen, her husband Donald and their 3 children is on the ship returning from the UK in 1971 - our family were returning to South Africa after my Dad's sabbatical which he spent at the University of Exeter and we lived in Tavistock, Devon where I started school. My Nana and Grandpa Welch lived in a small village not far from Tavistock called Brentor. On the ship (which I think was Pendennis Castle) my Dad and Donald entered a quiz competition and won (no surprises there). I have a distinct memory of them winning a bottle of alcohol (no clue whether it was wine or whisky) and Donald, being a Methodist minister and theologian, did not drink alcohol and in those days neither did my Dad (he did embrace the art of drinking a glass of red wine post his heart attack once he was convinced it was "good for his heart"), and I am sure it was my brother, Chris, who was dispatched to ask the purser to exchange the bottle of "evil spirits" for cash!! Doreen tried to teach me to drive, she taught me to knit, she tried to teach me to sew and she did teach me to make fudge. She was the first person to hold Morgan in her arms not longer after he was born (my parents were living in the USA) and, was, to all intents and purposes, a second Mom to me and another Granny to Morgan and Tristan. When we moved to Jo'burg she and Donald were our anchors; they having moved from Grahamstown to Jo'burg many years before; and every time we moved Doreen was there, if not hanging curtains and doing other moving chores, but providing a cooked three course meal for all of us. She was a powerhouse seeming to never pause for breathe - if she was not knitting, she was sewing or quilting, she would be baking 3 cakes and making a batch of fudge, simultaneously doing a sudoku and phoning or texting someone. She never missed a birthday or anniversary, up until their move from Robindale to a retirement village in Bedfordview, was also driving to visit patients in any number of hospitals. Tragically she inherited the dementia gene or condition which had afflicted her Mother and we were aware of a decline in her mental faculties, which was exacerbated by the move to the retirement village. It was not long after that month, and my taking my Mom to visit her and Donald in their new home, that she vanished from our lives - my last text message from her was when we were in Rome and I sent a message to her and Donald for Christmas. Nick took my Mom to visit her and Donald 3 years ago and tragically her further decline was very evident. And Donald is sadly afflicted by the same dementia gene as his late Father. We have been mourning both Doreen and Donald for the last 3 years; its weird to mourn someone who is physically still present but their spirit and their very essence, that spark and personality has been snuffed out like a candle. We have a treasure trove of memories which make up so much of my life, and the lives of Morgan and Tristan, and for a while, Johan and for those we are grateful and, for me, those memories are giving me some comfort and solace.
Donald, and Doreen at my 50th Birthday Party - 4 October 2014
Doreen and Donald and my Mom at our wedding - 30 April 2013
Thank you for the memories and for being an ardent and steadfast supporter of me, Morgan and Tristan dearest Doreen
It was a relatively quiet week as I did not go to aqua aerobics and Johan was sick with flu. I was quiet in every respect as part of my "Body Talk homework" was to practice unconditional love to me; and take a step back from always being the one checking in, checking up on and showing everyone else constant unconditional love. I made a start with this on the previous Friday which sent me back to bed at about 10.30am after doing my usual morning chores and having no energy, from not sleeping for 2 nights because of my sinusitis infection and medication, I just crawled under the duvet staying there until about 5pm when I showered and put fresh pj's on and then spent the evening on the couch. I know it was felt that this might be an indication of depression but it was not and, I know it is a complete novelty for me to actually be sick and be in bed, but that is what it was. I have always been the Humpty Dumpty who could never fall off the wall because what would happen then to my family, my job, everything. I have always been the one to only be in bed if I was literally too sick or weak to leave my bed (hepatitis in 1997, recovering from an operation (gallbladder removal in 1997) though, even at those times, I would have to get out of bed to feed my children, make a cup of coffee for the boys' Dad (yes it was so ordered) and just grit my teeth and get on with doing what needed to be done to make the wheels keep on turning. Coughing up blood when I had pneumonia I refused admission at hospital opting to go home instead as my presence was needed at home. That was life then and so having the time, space, peace and quiet to spend a few uninterrupted hours in bed, sleeping and resting, recovering from my sinus infection was unprecedented for me but needed and I truly did feel better for that semi-day in bed!
Johan is thankfully better and he returned to work on Thursday. I have been doing some writing on book number 2, bouncing on my rebounder and spent an afternoon covering a box I bought, with decorative paper creating a Memory Box. Once it is completed, I will post a photograph. I also had a meeting on Friday morning for potential work so hold thumbs and say your prayers together with sending positive vibes and energy into the universe. Saturday morning saw me up with the sun (well, almost) and dropping off groceries and other essentials for my Mom before reporting "for duty" by 8am in Sandton at Alyssa's event, Winter Wellness. Last year she held the same event and, I think, it was about the same time as Facebook reminds me sharing memories from photos posted a year ago - last year it was a freezing cold morning and Angie, Bronwyn and I attended the event. This year the weather was so much warmer and kinder; Bronwyn is overseas and Angie was meant to be in Cape Town (but was home earlier because her poor Mom had a fall and had to have surgery) - I was delighted to be surprised with Lindy being there together with one of her gorgeous sisters, Carli, and I had an absolute ball. There was incredible breathe work exercises and visualisation, followed by a workout which I did huff and puff my way through (of course) but no need for medical emergency services thank goodness. Lots of delicious drinks on offer from cappuccinos and other types of coffee from a cart, to bottled water and a selection of fruit juices; a great deal of chatter while waiting to have our hair washed and blow-dried and we were all treated to a brilliant pedicure too, nog'al! The goodie bags we were all treated to were filled with phenomenal treats and eats - from a skipping rope (given to Lindy for her eldest daughter, Mali as I am not skipping, rebounding for me is enough!), a scrunchy, delicious artisanal chocolate chip cookie and Youthful Living nougat protein bar, generous vouchers from Alyssa for online training, a fit pass from Moove gym at Melrose Arch, Culture Hair for hair pampering, Legacy Nails and Beauty for discounting nail treatments, a discount voucher from Freddywear and a STUNNING journal, and pen, from Alyssa McConnell Fitness with daily affirmations - cannot wait to start using this journal.
Am loving the body butter which was another spoil in the goodie bag
I am so happy to see so many of my friends who are now living elsewhere in the world ensured that they exercised their right to vote, casting their votes ahead of the national elections on 29 May 2024 in South Africa. Don't complain and grumble about the "useless government", "Eskom", "corruption", "crime" etc if you do not exercise your right to vote. I have been dealing with voter apathy and "what's the point" and "who do I vote for?" but remind myself that voting has not always been a right available to both sexes and all races; women starved themselves (just one example) for the right to vote in the early 20th century and it is unknown how many lives have been lost in the fight for the human right to vote. It is always worth the time and effort to get registered and to stand in a line to vote. I am over my voter apathy and will definitely be casting my vote on 29 May 2024 and over the oceans, I hope that everyone in the USA similarly exercises their right to vote in November 2024. As more and more is revealed of the far right's desire to have a fascist, dictatorship in a country where the MAGA extremists do not want the country to be "the land of the free" and more of a country resembling a Nazi Reich; it is now more than ever that if an American citizen is pro freedom of choice, freedom of speech, equality, justice and basic human rights for all, that they need to vote for change. Trump supporters, podcasters-aligned with Trump, will put another spin on this but this is the truth. "Only in America" do you have a NFL kicker deliver a commencement (graduation) speech where, amongst so many of the heinous things he uttered, he told the graduates, particularly the women graduating with their degrees, that he knows that they are most excited, not about their degrees, but by being at home, married and having children as they will find more fulfillment from marriage and having children than pursuing careers. He also declared his opposition to abortion, IVF and surrogacy so for those people struggling to fall pregnant, sorry he does not advocate you pursuing alternative avenues to be able to have a child. I do not know why he thinks he is some form of demi-God to make all these hateful pronouncements. He lashed out at Taylor Swift, so clearly he is intimidated by her talent, fame, success and her incredible philanthropist work and one has to wonder what his Mother thinks of his speech (the NFL were very quick to distance themselves from the speech). His Mom is not a stay-at-home barefoot-and-pregnant in the kitchen; she is a medical physicist at Emory University's Winship Cancer Institute in Atlanta. She has a degree in chemistry from Smith College, amongst her many other academic accolades.
"I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you," Butker said at a recent college commencement. "Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.
The USA Today article ends with this and it is so apt and is why everyone needs to vote in the USA if you do not want to see this country dragged back to the 1950's or even beyond that:
"There are people like Butker who want to take America back in time. Not the majority. But enough.
And that's scary."
Zen reminded me that Monday, 20 May 2024 was "World Bee Day" . As I am often referred to as "Bee", I have a small collection of Bee related items and I was fascinated by the bees on the Fontana delle Appi in the Via Vittorio Veneto in Rome, a fountain designed by Bernini.
For more about the Barberini family, bumble bees and Bernini, you can read this interesting article here:
As I was preparing to finish this blog post this morning, more sad news was received from my lifelong friend, Jenni who I grew up with in Grahamstown. Her Mom and my Mom were good friends and Margaret Wood was a constant in my life - her late husband together with his one spinster sister, had the general dealer, S W Wood, in Bathurst Street in Grahamstown (for those who have roots and/or other connections in Grahamstown). Margaret suffered a terrible fall 5 weeks ago, sustaining a bleed on the brain and sadly never regained consciousness and passed away today released from her pain and suffering. I spontaneously popped in at my Mom this afternoon to check on how she is doing and coping with the deaths of two close friends (she was telling me on Sunday that Margaret had not replied to her message of some weeks ago; sadly we now know why). It has been a real "circle of life" week indeed and a reminder, once again, of our fragile grip on life and how we need to be grateful for the positives and good in each day.
Anyone in Jo'burg keen to join me for this?
Please let me know - my knitting is basic "AF" but I do enjoy it
knitting squares and baby jerseys for charity
A reminder of this incredible charity and charity shop
A great incentive to clear out your shoe cupboards - if you are in Pretoria or Jo'burg, please let me know if you have shoes to donate - I will co-ordinate and deliver to Stephan
Where I have been:
7 Sins - https://7sins.co.za/
Healthworx Randridge Mall - https://health-worx.co.za/randridge/
Alyssa McConnell Fitness - https://www.alyssamcconnellfitness.com/
Legacy Nails and Beauty - https://www.instagram.com/legacynailsandbeauty_sandton/
Fisherman's Kitchen - https://fishermanskitchen.co.za/
Car Care Vaps - came to me at home to remove small scratches on my car - fabulous service and they washed and vaccuumed my car https://ccv.co.za/ (this service is part of my car financing from Wesbank)
What have I been listening to?
Podcasts:
Beyond All Repair
Dark Down East
Inconceivable Truth
Mr Ballane Podcast
Something was Wrong
The Daily
The Damage Report
The Meidas Touch
The Mushroom Cook
The Price of Paradise
The Trial of Constance Martens and Mark Gordon
To Die For
Unreliable Witness
What have I been reading? What am I reading?
"The Sober Diaries: How one woman stopped drinking and started living" by Clare Pooley
"Montparnasse" by John Baxter
Audible:
My Favourite Mistake by Marian Keyes
What have I been watching?
My usual bubblegum shows so I can decompress and not think; and just be entertained Sugar
Elsbeth
Glow Up : Britain's Next Make-Up Star
Pointless
Netflix:
The Asunta Case
Ashley Madison : Sex, Lies and Scandal
