A tale of quizzical questions, encounters of the prawn variety and more .....
After this blog, the usual “My Funny Old Week” service will resume and if that makes no sense, I would recommend you go back and read the last published “My Funny Old Week and a Half” blog for context.
As usual I was paving the way to hell yesterday with my good intentions to write and publish my blog/s but it was a busy weekend and by the time I got to stop and do the best imitation of a sloth I could, clearly I did it so well that there was no writing of any blog or anything remotely resembling that! So here I am on this Monday, 28 November managing to indulge in some writing.
What’s been happening?
Last Thursday I made it into the office for the first time in a few weeks. I literally had no time, due to the intense work pressure, to waste time driving to and from Sandton to the office let alone be distracted and disrupted in the office environment. I remained buried by work but Thursday I went in mid-afternoon as that evening some of my business support colleagues and I formed a team to participate in the Global Charity initiative quiz evening. We were the only business support team and I am very proud to say that we eventually placed second out of the 6 teams participating (who were all lawyers). The questions ranged from easy to neigh impossible; and it was a lot of fun and stimulating to attempt to unravel the anagrams and cryptic clues. The venue was possibly not the best choice because of the acoustics but we managed and it was a lot of fun. The team with the lowest score received “The Wooden Spoon award” complete with wooden spoons for each team member and certificates and the team who beat us (comprising of lawyers from our Litigation Insurance division) got lovely prizes; nothing for the team who came second which reminded me of a quiz event many many years ago when Tristan was in high school – it was at his school and organized by the hockey committee, our team won first place but by the time they announced our win, they had distributed all the prizes to the teams who came 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc … strange but true.
Our team mascot!
There was also a grand prize for the evening which had been generously donated and to win that prize it was decided to indulge in an elimination type competition. Think “Simon Says” with a twist (and if you don’t know what “Simon Says” google it!) - a coin was tossed and if you thought the coin would land on heads you put your hands on your head, hands on your butt for tails – if you got your prediction and placement of your heads wrong, you were out and had to sit down (yes we were all made to stand up for this). I can truly be “Miss Min-Co-Ords” with no co-ordination in these type of things and got confused so after the first coin toss, thought I was out so I sat down – one of my team mates quickly pointed out to me that I had been right (you see what I mean about “min co-ords”) so I stood up again and I was the eventual winner!! How amazing and I am still in shock – the grand prize is an overnight stay (dinner, bed and breakfast) at The Sandton Farmhouse (https://www.sandtonfarmhouse.co.za/)
Johan and I are planning to indulge in this amazing prize to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary on 30th April 2023 (the next day being a national holiday).
We bought powerball tickets on Friday night hoping to continue my “winning streak” but the streak was sadly no more!
After a bad night’s sleep, rather a night of minimal sleep Friday morning Elmo decided I needed to start the day at about 6am. My morning reflections and musings over a cup of rooibos and cinnamon tea (sidenote it is delicious), with the quiet of the start of a new day were suddenly splintered by insane screaming and shouting peppered with a lot of “f*** you”.
Our complex borders on a green belt and this seemed to be coming from a house from the other side of the green belt but its hard to tell as sound does travel. The screaming, shouting and cursing was emanating from an English-speaking male (that much was clear) and our near immediate next door neighbour (we live in semi-detached units) said it was not the first time he had heard this particular individual creating such a disturbance. All was peaceful and quiet over the weekend and this morning, this time at 6.30am he was at it again – this time his noise pollution woke me up and that says a lot (Johan could not even wake me up when he left to go to the office this morning). Very definitely the same individual. Since it did not happen over the weekend, is his rage directed at it being a workday and he is protesting at having to work? The rage does not last long but it’s there and one has to wonder why; and is he escalating? There are clearly red flags and yes, I watch crime related mysteries, whodunnits, investigations and documents and listen to podcasts of the same genre. Who knows but I pity whoever lives with him or in the proximity of this creature.
This invokes memories of my Dad who was such a patient and tolerant person losing his mind back in Grahamstown when students would party all night long and keep him awake. At one time their house had students living right behind them – my Dad’s form of revenge; playing a very dramatic classical music piece with lots of clashing of cymbals and drums as the sun was rising. I think he only did it once but once was enough to silence the students for the remainder of their days in that digs. In the last 6 months of his life, he was sitting on the balcony off their flat in Claremont, Cape Town, reading on a Saturday afternoon and again music from a neighbouring property was disturbing his peace and equilibrium; my Mom got a huge fright when she heard him bellowing “Shut the F* up!!” This was so uncharacteristic of my Dad who would usually only swear in German (scheisse) and as the family collectively agree, it was definitely “the morphine talking” as he was already on a mild dosage of morphine thanks to his cancer.
Talking of creatures and unpleasant neighbours, our ‘trailer trash” neighbour has eventually taken the trash out herself and has moved out. Of course, it’s a mystery as to who will occupy that unit again – universe, a monk, a nun who has taken a vow of eternal silence, an introvert and/or a person who simply respects themselves and their neighbours, observing the rules of our complex and is decent, polite and pleasant would really be appreciated!
Our weekend started with an encounter with a creature who sounds like it comes from the sea but rather is land and in this instance, home invading!In our bedroom while our curtains were still closed, my eye caught the sight of long legs at the side of one of the curtains. I froze having another déjà vu moment harking back to days of Grahamstown, high school and the family home in African Street and yes, read on I will reveal all ….. this time though I did not scream blue murder at the sight of huge hairy legs at the side of my curtain (which caused my Dad to RUN to my bedroom and he never ever ran!) but calmly called out to Johan asking him to come to the bedroom which he did. The legs had disappeared but upon his entry they re-appeared and Johan took a huge step backwards before braving the unknown and proceeding to unmask the scary creature – you may have guessed it but if not, it was a GIGANTIC Parktown Prawn and no, this was no time to take a photograph!! For those of you who have never heard of a Parktown Prawn think Cockroach on Steroids who cannot be killed by the equivalent of 10 London telephone directories let alone a crate of insect repellent. The very talented, creative uber-genius Andrew Buckland wrote and performed in the brilliant award-winning play, The Ugly Noo Noo (an one person play all about this evil creature) – Andrew performed The Ugly Noo Noo in the Rhodes Theatre not long before Morgan, Tristan and I moved to Johannesburg (these creatures only live in Jo’burg I believe) and the 3 of us not only thoroughly enjoyed the play but were grateful to have been educated. What to do with this Scary Creature known to be neigh impossible to kill and I was not letting it out the window to return to scare us again – imagine if it had returned under cover of darkness and while we were innocently sleeping?!! Johan managed to capture it in a container with a lid, knocking it around in the container to hopefully concuss it before unceremoniously flushing it down the toilet – it can resurfaced somewhere extremely far away from our home please!!
(I found this image of a Parktown Prawn on Pinterest of all places to give you an idea)
Talk about a wake-up call of the variety nobody ever wants to experience!
And what caused me to scream blue murder all those years ago while still a teenager – it was a giant baboon / rain spider and it had to be rescued in a bottle with a lid so my Mom could take it to her young pupils the following morning and they could have a lesson about the spider. Like Queen Victoria, I was unamused and displeased that the creature and I had to share a night under the same roof – what happened to the spider after going to school I cannot recall and my Mom professes to not remembering either! Another time one evening I walked into the kitchen of that house and there were legs sticking out from under the stove – this time it was not a spider but a crab!! My parents and I were astounded by the presence of the crab and how it ended up in our kitchen – the back door of the kitchen was open but the step out of the door into the garden was steep and it seemed incredible that the crab had managed to climb up it and into the kitchen; not only that but we assumed it came from the Kowie River which ran through parts of the town and was not far from the house but The Crab had to sidle and crab walk its way across (for Grahamstown) which a busy road before venturing up our driveway and silently and stealthily entering our home (without invitation). What is a gatecrasher who is not a person but a crab? Crabcrasher? Crushing Crab? Cruising Crab? Again, Cruising Crab did not become crab sticks but was carted off to school and another lesson before succumbed to a life out of water.
Crustacean, insect and spider strange encounters indeed!
From Parktown Prawns to pedicures and pampering – part of Saturday morning was spent indulging in some self-care and pampering; having a much-needed manicure and pedicure at Vanilla in Linden. For someone who loves to chat and be sociable, when it comes to this type of pampering for some reason, I prefer to be quite quiet and just be as still as possible considering the treatments I am having, observe what’s happening around me and reflect. Obviously not having taken a vow of silence, I do engage and interact with others particularly the therapist/s but I prefer to be quiet – and if I am only having a pedicure I usually take a book to read while my feet are being pampered. The salon also offers make-up sessions and the salon was very busy on Saturday morning with young girls arriving to have their make-up done for their matric dance that evening – school dances back in the stone age when I was in high school were so different; you did your own hair and make up etc; no limousine or different mode of transport to take you to the dance, no photographs with the parents, no pre-dance photographs, cocktails, mocktails etc.
After my 3rd EDA meeting I met up with Lindy at Gioia, a lovely Italian restaurant in the environs of Zoo Lake. We shared a selection of delicious starters (mozzarella balls, cheesy foccaccio and beef carpaccio) with great cappuccinos and incredible conversation. If it were not Tristan’s addiction and my attending addiction support groups, I would not have met Lindy so perversely I am grateful for the circumstances which led to our meeting and the friendship and sisterhood we share.
Saturday afternoon was spent with Maure who travelled with me and coped with my neurotic, paranoid terror of driving in loadshedding-Fourways traffic (madness at the best of times) as I drove us to our destination in Fourways Gardens. We were in for an afternoon of more pampering courtesy of long-time friend, former colleague (of 2 work places) Kath Lowe who has embarked in a side hustle selling skincare products, gadgets for remarkable skin treatments and care etc. Kath now lives in Pretoria and despite our relatively close proximity we have not seen each other for far too long – she and her business partners had a great set up for us and we had a very enjoyable time being educated and indulging in the various products and tools of her particular side hustle business. One of Kath’s other friends had generously opened her home up for this pamper party. Maure and I had lots of fun and thankfully, for my blood pressure, nerves and stress levels, by the time we left loadshedding was over so the traffic lights were working once again which made driving in that suburb a tad less nervewracking.
Having not seen Johan for the whole of Saturday, we went out for supper which was such a good idea and we ventured to Choo Choo Junction in Linden. We had never been there; Johan had found it and liked the look of the menu which was unique in terms of its play on words. I had a delicious flat bread and Johan had a gigantic burger; we enjoyed good conversation, and the opportunity to make some changes to plans for the future and it was a sublime way to spend a Saturday evening.
Quirky menu and quirky lighting
Sunday was another busy day – Ozzie came to work in the garden (he works full-time during the week at the same treatment facility where Tristan works), has another gardening job on a Saturday and so Sunday is the only day he has available to help us out which is usually once a month. I feel bad that he works on his only free day but he is always very happy to do so, and tells me he appreciates the opportunity to work for either my Mom or me especially as he now has a baby boy to care for and ensure he has clothes, food, nappies etc. He is very good and knows what to do which is a huge help as I am a total Garden-Ignoramus. He worked for Tristan when he had his own landscaping business so learnt a lot and he is brilliant. Leaving him to deal with compost, weeding, cleaning out and performing his usual brand of garden magic, Johan and I spent a busy morning shopping as we hurtle towards Christmas and present-giving time; we had groceries to buy for my Mom and Johan was looking for something to expand his repertoire of magic paraphernalia. Suffice it to say that in no time my watch buzzed telling me that we had done over 5000 steps and we had minimal success in finding the particular top-secret items Johan needed; we eventually found a suitable alternative proving that even in the world of magic, tricks and illusions there has to be compromises!
Attending the international Co-Anon Serenity Around the World meeting online at 5pm is a perfect way to end the weekend and prepare to face the new way. My reflections on this meeting and the demographic I am going to leave for a separate post.
Tristan's 35 month milestone of being clean and sober was on Friday, 25 November 2022. Ever day of his recovery journey is a victory as he daily battles, like so many millions (I am hazarding a guess here) around the globe, the disease of addiction.
I sent him this on Friday morning:
As we hurtle towards the festive season, the holidays and already feel as though we are in the "Silly Season" I know I am feeling strung-out, tired and burnt-out, be gentle on yourselves, look after your wellbeing in every respect and be kind to yourself.
Just love this quote from Mel Robbins
From her lips to all your eyes and ears!
Till next time ....!