What a funny old week it has been - an enlightening, illuminating, concerning, liberating, jacaranda appreciating, sociable and hopeful week!!
No ghostly ghouls, Vampires, Witches, Goblins or carved pumpkins for us and that's spookaliciously fine for us! Way back in the 1800's (so Morgan and Tristan would have you believe) when I was in Grade 12 - actually it was October 1982 I went to my new high school in Ithaca, upstate New York, still feeling exceptionally intimidated, lonely, insecure and all-at-sea in this bewildering high school environment (1500 pupils in Grades 10 to 12), and everyone was in fancy dress - I was clueless as to why but of course it was Halloween. It was assumed I knew, nobody had taken pity on the South African newbie ("Oh you come from AAAAfrica - do you have a pet lion? Yes and I ride him to school every morning") and somehow all the Halloween decorations and paraphernalia had gone right over the heads of my folks and me in our "deer in the headlights bewildered and baffled" state of acclimation.
I am sure that is why I am still triggered when it is assumed I knew something and clearly did not; my family (as in my folks etc) are not the greatest communicators and repeatedly I have been over the years left out of the "loop" and this leaves internal scars especially when you are, like me, someone who has battled self-esteem and confidence issues for far too many years. I know that this is why I am sensitive to people feeling left out of situations and hate people to feel left out and excluded; and / or alone especially on Christmas Day etc - that's another topic for another time!
We have in one way or another observed this very American holiday over the years and that has always been good fun - one year Johan even carved a pumpkin and we had it on the gate post with a candle inside it.
Jacarandas in their purple glory (Sunday morning in Linden)
I am still in shock that not only are Christmas decorations in the shops to buy, and Auntie Woolworths and her sidekick Wool Worth are displaying all their festive wares to entice us all but on Saturday morning at Koekerasie Tea Garden where I met my great friend Sue for tea and scones and lots of interesting chatter, there was a Christmas tree complete with flashing lights on it and attending to some retail therapy in the early afternoon with Johan there are lights, Christmas trees and bauble decor galore in the mall - no!!!! Its way too early but yet again Tuesday is the 1st of November and we are already talking all matters Christmas and Festive Season with la mia famiglia....... Time certainly stands still for nobody!!
I have been feeling very stuck and felt I was figuratively battling through melted marshmallows but I have sloughed off that feeling thanks to a personal session I had on Tuesday (thanks to the beautiful and very special Bronwyn spoiling me for my birthday) which filled me with a great sense of hope, purpose, drive, determination and direction. I felt so much lighter in every sense possible after the session and very positive and resolute. I had some matters to attend to which I have done and I am looking forward to the future (even tomorrow) with hope, patience and optimism. .
I am the type of person who gets weighed down by my own sense of guilt and failure - and I was in this vortex of self-loathing and that beating-myself-up-churning-guilt which would have me eating my emotions more and causing me unnecessary stress and anxiety. I have not managed to get to the gym for easily 4 months - it was triggered by our Isis dog's death and its really been a hit and miss affair my managing to darken the doors of the gym and plunge into the pool. I am either working too late, there is loadshedding which affects the traffic and I don't fancy venturing into a darkened gym; or there is a sms message saying that the gym has no aircon, no water, no electricity and its like everything is against me to get there (or all of the aforementioned). And the fact that every month I pay R115 to Virgin Active for the pleasure of NOT getting to gym and just having an internal hamster wheel of anxiety and stress shedding my insides does not help at all. I feel so guilty about the money being wasted so I cancelled my gym membership and my wonderful husband investigated the Linden community pool which is heated, indoors and open all weekend long and on public holidays. Entrance is R8 and it might be a bit of distance and while there is still loadshedding to navigate it feels more manageable, accessible and achievable - and I will be spared all those Muscle Mario's and Mary's with their endless selfies in the gym making me even more self-conscious and awkward ... well that was all a huge chunk of True Confessions and Honesty I bet you were not expecting!!
It's been a funny old week of concern about dear friends who are stricken with covid, other health issues and stresses; culminating in me not sleeping well at all but Friday night I was so excited to actually get to sleep through the night - and I failed to mention a Massive Thunderstorm on Thursday night (capitalised to stress the magnitude and intensity of the wind and rain) which had me up nursing Cinnamon and Jack who were both very anxious (Elmo could not be bothered - he just thought that it was fun to be up in the middle of the night and it was time to play!)
I did not go into Sandton to the office this last week and a security threat and alert of a potential terror / terrorist attack resulted in our offices being physically closed on Friday (though some people still did go into the office; I was not one of them!)
Another highlight of the week was seeing lovely Colleen Sherren and her daughter Katie - we had drinks and an early bite to eat at Cnr Cafe in Craighall Park. Colleen and I have been friends for well over 30 years and worked together too way back in the 18h00's - she was here from Cape St Francis to help Katie and family move and settle into a new home; its always so lovely to see Colleen and indulge in a catch-up (we could talk all day and night if we were able to!)
This morning we had famiglia brunch at "Sweet Tea and Chickadees" in Linden. Its a lovely spot with a menu focused on the foods of the southern states of the USA - think grits and biscuits together with chicken and waffles; their scrambled eggs are so good and the pancakes evilly delicious. The coffee is very good too (nod to Morgan and his incredible knowledge about what constitutes good and great coffee). It was a lovely morning before we all parted ways for the day and weekend - Tristan and Skye off to Pretoria to watch rugby (the Blue Bulls - Tristan's team - beating the Sharks - Skye's team).
Alyssa choreographed all the coffee mugs for a group photograph - the slogans are such fun!
Lemonade and pancakes with honey butter
Have you ever seen a pen with a spoon or a spoon with a pen? Well now you have - we got this with the bill ..... is this so no-one is tempted to steal the spoon or the pen?
My beautiful family
(Thanks for the photographs Alyssa of our awesome Sunday brunch)
I have put my Italian weekly tutoring sessions with Giancarlo on pause until January 2023 - medical bills, cost of living, vet bills and more vet bills to follow (Elmo's sterilisation) means it makes financial sense to take a pause but I continue to work on my Italian via Duolingo (tomorrow I will hit my 500 day streak!).
What am I listening to -
Podcasts (great to listen to when I am making fudge and/or making dinner):
· Crime Stories with Nancy Grace
· ·The Daily
· ·Damage Report
· ·The Bittersweet Life
· ·The Tylenol Murders
· Dear Gabby
· Hoaxed (finished - so good)
· Death of an Artist (also excellent and finished it too)
· Devil Town
· We were Three (horrifying, tragic, riveting and also finished)
Audible
Beautiful Things by Hunter Biden (raw and brutally honest, shocking, tragic, riveting and heartwrenching - excellent; finished listening to it)
Happy Days by Gabrielle Bernstein
What am I reading?
"Truly Madly Guilty” by Liane Moriarty – having never read her books but being a big fan of “Big Little Lies” and “Nine Perfect Strangers” on the small screen I am disappointed that I am battling with this book; its very formulaic and its slow going so I have skipped a whole bunch of chapters, still understand what is going on and have now set it aside for another book which is "Mafia Princess" by Marisa Merico (so far so good)
What am I watching?
Netflix, downloads and more on my laptop screen:
· My usual bubblegum tv
· Pointless
· Bloodlands (finished, very good – frustrating ending)
· Chicago Med, Law & Order and all the amazing Dick Wolf productions
· The Great Canadian Baking Show
· The Great British Bakeoff
· Dateline
· Karen Pirie (Scottish detective series – also finished)
· Vatican Girl – the disappearance of Emanuela Orlandi (true story)
· NBC News
· Sky News
Stay safe, take care, reach for the moon, even if you fall short you will land among the stars!
