Only 111 more shopping days to Christmas!!
Spring is here although officially it only starts on Friday, 23 September 2022 – so wonderful to see new plant life, blossoms, enjoy the lovelier weather fragranced by the flowering jasmine.
Yesterday I was at Lifestyle Centre and it was heaving with people buying trolley loads of plants, lawn dressing, compost, pots and all the paraphernalia for revamping their gardens and this morning I took my Mom to the Garden Shop, the closest nursery in her neighbourhood, and it was the same scenario there. She wanted lawn dressing too – could not understand the rather pungent smell in the car driving her home to her retirement village; had she let out a silent fart? Finally, as I was opening the window gulping in the petrol fumed air I twigged that it was not my dear old Mom and her bodily functions but the lawn dressing – thank goodness it was a short drive back to her home.
At the Garden Shop we met Lloyd, an amazing creator of beaded animals, birds etc and what I thought were stunning wire designs. In my opinion you can feel the movement in the dancers in the photo below. He also had these cute little birds which he fashions out of coloured telephone wires. He told us that he can make bespoke wire designs too (I have his contact details if anyone wants these).
What’s been the buzz about the week?
It was a busy work week for both Johan and me. No juggling of housework chores thank goodness because Sa is back so normalcy has resumed. Wednesday was my boss’s birthday so I went to the office for my weekly office day on that day – he wanted no fuss and had promised me that I would not organize a gift for him from the team (which I have done for the last 2 years) and surprisingly I did listen and obey. My colleague and I did give him a mug which I had designed and got made by my local printer and supplier of my mugs, the 3@1 at Honeydew – it seems it was a hit and appreciated. No birthday cake but Krispy Kreme donuts – evil things that they are.
It was my turn to lead the online Co-Anon meeting on Tuesday evening – Co-Anon is the support group for family and friends of loved ones who battle with the disease of addiction. This group has helped me enormously with Tristan’s battle with addiction and his recovery journey. The topic I was given was “Self-care and self-discipline” – two subjects I am great at observing myself!! This is an excerpt :
“Self-care has been defined as the process of taking care of oneself with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs. Individuals engage in some form of self-care daily with food choices, exercise, sleep, and dental care”
I felt a bit better after reading that description as I do most of those things except for the exercise, which is always hit and miss since my boundaries, particularly with work, continue to be chalk marks on the floor.
And Wikipedia tells me that self-discipline is:
“Self-control, an aspect of inhibitory control, is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. As an executive function, it is a cognitive process that is necessary for regulating one's behavior in order to achieve specific goals."
I was in a good routine of self-care and self-discipline in the latter part of 2019 – succeeding at making healthy eating choices, regularly going to gym and working with a personal trainer and I was ticking all the boxes for self-care and self-discipline. That is until Tristan’s active addiction was revealed to Johan and me by Tristan and whoosh, just like that most of my self-care and self-discipline vanished into the ether.
I was so busy running around trying to fix everything in the chaos of Tristan’s active addiction that I got lost in the process and with that any sense of self-care or self-discipline. I was not sleeping, going to gym for my sessions with my trainer were impossible as there was always a Tristan crisis to fruitlessly try to resolve, if I did eat it was junk food; I could clean my teeth and observe my hygienic routine but that was all. Obviously, there was no self-control in terms of the “ability to regulate one’s emotions, thought and behaviours” – my emotions were so out of control, the thoughts never stopped somersaulting through my mind with such intensity I felt as though I had a permanent headache let alone heartache.
I had abandoned myself in the chaos of Tristan’s very real battle with the disease of addiction.
Self-care and self-discipline is essential for all of us. While preparing for this meeting, I read that “Ignoring self-care in recovery puts you in continual survival mode, which can lead to anxiety and reactivity. These emotions can serve as triggers that put your addiction recovery at risk” – excellent advice for those in recovery as well as the family and friends of loved ones battling the disease of addiction.
Engaging in a self-care routine has been clinically proven to reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and so much more. And I know that when I am able to practice a continual self-care routine, my mental health is healthier and not taking a toll, I am not anxious, less stressed with increased energy and happier.
Neglecting my self-care and burning myself out meant that I recently was felled by an infected and inflamed abscess which the medical professionals tell me would not have been so adverse and my recovery so long if I was not so run down and burnt out.
….
I am still recovering and although I have not lost myself, my self-care and self-discipline as I did in Tristan’s active addiction, I came very close to that with my neglecting my self-care and self-discipline to my detriment.
I am still recovering and although I have not lost myself, my self-care and self-discipline as I did in Tristan’s active addiction, I came very close to that with my neglecting my self-care and self-discipline to my detriment."
The meeting was good and as I was busy with the closing prayer, our WiFi bombed - such an embarrassment; of all the times!! But the sun rose again the next morning, the world kept on turning and its one of the challenges of online meetings.
We had a visitor came and stay over from Thursday to Saturday evening - a visitor who was brought to us on Thursday by Alyssa and who was whimpering and making little noises as her car drove through the gates of our complex. It was Titan - Morgan's beautiful dog who came to sleep over and have company as Morgan's days were going to be so long with gym and work so instead of Titan being home alone for 12 hours or so, he came to us. 4 dogs all with their own temperaments and personalities; Elmo is getting used to him - when they first met and Elmo was a tiny puppy they both were very nervous and uncertain of each other. Elmo is a lot braver but still a little cautious. We had a murder though as Titan got hold of one of Elmo's toys and made short work of the "Fugli" whose stuffing was festooned all over our patio so he did not hide the evidence and he left his DNA all over the Fugli's blue 'body'.
Highlights of My Funny Old Week
Johan's creating an amazing website for Tristan for a soon-to-be-revealed side hustle; quality time with Morgan on Saturday; seeing Alyssa on Thursday when she came to deliver Titan; awesome phone calls with Tristan and Skye and watching Alyssa achieve one of her goals by competing in the IFBB Championships on Saturday afternoon. We did not attend the IFBB Championships in person opting to buy a ticket to watch the livestream - we feel Alyssa should have placed but she was thrilled to have achieved the goal of qualifying to appear in this championship and we are all so proud of her for all the hard work, discipline, dedication and drive in fulfilling this personal goal. And starting to loosely plan for what we hope will be a family adventure to Italy in the latter part of 2023....
What I have been listening to on podcasts:
Teacher's Pet - a horrific true story which I am binge listening to
Brian Tyler Cohen
The Daily
The Dear Gabby Podcast
Nancy Grace Crime Stories
What I am reading:
Shear by Tim Parks
What have I been watching on the small screen:
Netflix
Untold - the Girlfriend Who Didn't Exist (excellent true story)
A Kidnapping Scandal - The Florence Cassez Affair (still watching)
My usual bubblegum series with the exception of Making the Cut & The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Ridley (brilliant British crime drama)
People Magazine Investigates
On 3 September 2022 I 'celebrated' my 2nd year DuoLingo Anniversary of learning Italian on the Duo Lingo app - where has the time vanished to???
