We all blinked and the first week of January 2023 is over. I am still wrapping my head around the fact that we are in 2023- how did that happen? So many years ago the thought of the year 2020 seemed so futuristic and now we are in the third year of my previously perceived futuristic decade. Next decade, in only 7 years, will be 2030 - still seems surreal but maybe that is what was thought by some when it was 1990 etc.
It was great that that first week was a short work week being only 4 working days long and work was very quiet; tomorrow Manic Monday resumes and I am dreading it. I have no energy to cope with the hamster wheel mode on top speed. Maybe because we did not have a break over the festive season and taking "rats and mice" day's off here and there in the last 3 years does not account to a proper restful break. Our little breakaway to Hogsback in October 2021 seems light years away. But I have to take a very deep breathe, pull up the humongous big girl panties, and just get on with the job (always remembering to be grateful for being employed). I cling on to hope that big changes and choices will be part of 2023's agenda for it - its a goal!
Atrocities and executions tragically continue in Iran, Putin's call for a ceasefire with its war with Ukraine for Russian Orthodox Christmas was not observed by Russia at all (no surprise there), nurses in the United Kingdom still fight for well-earned and deserved raises and teachers in the United Kingdom want to re-educate teenagers brainwashed by that disgusting misogynistic influencer Andrew Tate (incredibly frightening how easily people are manipulated and brainwashed by social media "influencers", podcasters and/or celebrities) - may Andrew Tate and his brother be left to rot in jail in Romania forever - and the eyes of the world were on the Republican circus aka House of Representatives who took 4 days and 15 votes to eventually elect a speaker of the house. Slurs, threats. vitriolic hatred and almost-blows made for riveting watching and listening. Why are we not surprised? The Republicans thrive on fake news, falsehoods, conspiracy theories, racial and religious hatred wanting women to literally be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen 24/7. Not only is a congressman being investigated for sexual grooming and having sex with underage females but another serial liar has joined the ranks of elected representatives in the House. Screams volumes about the caliber of people who elected these dreadful excuses for human beings. Almost makes the our corrupt ruling regime busy running the country into the ground in South Africa, to look half decent and capable but they are akin to the Republicans as there is as much in-fighting within the ANC as the Republicans. The world is in such a sorry state ..... and I am not commenting on the latest episode in the "Harry and Meghan Soap Opera" just this :
Daily duolingo lessons, loadshedding, dodging potholes, navigating malfunctioning traffic lights (whether loadshedding or not) have been the order of my days and will continue to do so.
On Saturday, I attended my first EDA meeting of the year (Eating Disorders Anonymous) and halfway through the meeting I had the epiphany that I do actually have an eating disorder and verbally acknowledged that instead of hiding behind the "here to stop fighting my emotional and comfort eating". It was literally a lightbulb moment to realise that an eating disorder does not mean you have battled bulimia or anorexia; the fact that I comfort eat, eat regardless of whether I am hungry or not, and usually it is junk food that I am scoffing, is a disorder. It felt liberating to be able to "come clean" (pun intended) about this and I really wanted the time to talk to my family about this today, but it was sadly not possible.
The EDA fellowship is incredible and is such a safe, non-judgmental, non-critical space and I am so privileged to be part of it. Our post meeting coffee camaraderie is uplifting and enjoyable. When I popped in to visit my Mom on Saturday afternoon, I felt empowered and confident enough to tell my Mom about the meetings I am attending and why. I was very honest that I have been crippled for so many years by as many years of bullying about my weight, unhealthy habits I was exposed to as a child and cruel comments which were made to me without thinking or asking why I had put on weight. I am not sure whether my point was properly taken - there was no shock or denial when I said how when I questioned why a family member was being particularly unkind and harsh with his words to me, my Mom replied "I think he is just so shocked by how you look" - there was no questioning then about whether there was a reason I had put on weight (which was due to the abuse I was dealing with in my then marital home). It is probable that I may no have been honest as it has taken Tristan's addiction and recovery for me to find my true voice and honesty especially with myself and my feeling, but the question was never even asked. My Mom said that at that time we did not talk about these things which is true as in the 80's you did not talk about any of these type of issues; and sadly there was no reaction to my recounting how those words about being how shocked I looked, made me feel and how those words have been a huge personal mental block for far too many years. I had my say and hopefully my story will be reflected and thought about - the proverbial "time will tell" applies.
Our Sunday started with our second Sunday Delta Park walk with the dogs which was great as was the meeting we attended once again in the park with the fragrance of the pine trees and a gentle breeze blowing. We were there to listen to Skye's 4 year milestone of sobriety and clean time share which was so genuine, vulnerable and so impactful. We returned home to prepare for lunch with the family at our house as a celebration of Tristan's birthday which is on Tuesday when we will all be working and busy; and Tristan has plans with friends on Tuesday evening for a birthday dinner. It was a simple lunch on our patio with the beautiful paper placemats which Carole gave me as part of my Christmas present from my beautiful darling Earth Angel. We presented the chicken on the beautiful protea platter which she also so generously gave me for Christmas. Morgan and Alyssa made a delicious salad; Tristan chose a pavlova instead of a birthday cake so I baked it last night after loadshedding. I served it with cream, blueberries, strawberries and cherries which I found at a great price yesterday (they are usually eye-wateringly expensive)
After Johan mystified and intrigued everyone once again with 2 new magic card tricks, Tristan opened his birthday gifts and seemed very happy with his Springbok fan cap, a new pair of sneakers and a book; he also has a voucher for a Springbok rugby shirt when they are available. We will go ten pin bowling in early February followed by dinner to celebrate Skye's and Tristan's birthday which is an event we are all looking forward to. After tackling the washing up, cleaning up and a cup of tea with my Mom, Johan and I took her home; we returned home to loadshedding so a late Sunday afternoon nap was in order.
What have I been listening to and watching:
Podcasts:
Crime Stories with Nancy Grace
Queen of the Con
Scamfluencers
The Daily
The Damage Report
The Emerald Triangle
Proof
Queen of the Con
What about Holly?
Proof
Netflix:
The Crown - Season 5
Downloads and my usual bubblegum tv (Real Housewives of Miami, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Southern Hospitality)
Belfast Midwives
Black Snow
Call the Midwives
Chicago Med, FBI, Law and Order etc
Father Brown
Lingo
Pointless
I am reading "Cilka's Journey" by Heather Morris, which is billed as the sequel to the Tattooist of Auschwitz.
That's all from me - some exciting events, times and reunions are happening which give me the impetus to keep working on being a better person, keep working on being respected as a parent, partner, daughter, sister, employee, friend, keep on being of service and working towards my goals.
