It's almost the Ides of March (15 March 2023) and this is, much to my horror and shame, the first blog post in 2 weeks (2 weeks and 1 day to be precise) - so before the Ides of March dawn I WILL get this blog post written and published; loadshedding, insane work pressure, 14 hour working days, unexpected power outages (not to be mistaken for loadshedding) and every other March malady be damned!!
March - Morgan's birth month and that of my Mom and my late Dad. 8 March is the anniversary of the passing of my beloved Dad/Morgan and Tristan's adored Grandpa who quietly lost his battle with cancer 16 years ago. As each year passes marking another year of life without him, the pain does ease as does the depth of the loss but the pain will forever remain as does our love and admiration for him.
My Mom will celebrate her 91st birthday on 23 March and we celebrated Morgan's 34rd birthday on 5 May. Special friends have birthdays this month too and so many weddings! Morgan and Alyssa have 2 weddings to attend in the next few weeks, Tristan attended a wedding this last Saturday and I was sad to miss out and not be present at the stunning wedding of Jessica to Etienne in Stellenbosch on 4 March - congratulations Jess and Etienne; the beautiful photos of your spectacular wedding eased some of the reality of missing out of being part of their magical day. It was a joy to be reunited with Charlene on 4 March as she was in Jo'burg for work and pleasure - the hours flew by as we talked at times without drawing breathe in the beautiful and tranquil garden at the boutique hotel, 58 on Hume in Dunkeld.
Tristan scrubs up well all dressed up to attend his friend's wedding
We celebrated Morgan's 34rd birthday with coffees and sourdough pizzas at Scorcery in Pretoria - an unique and eclectic coffee shop with stunning views of Pretoria; another one of those incredible places we find in Gauteng where you feel as though you are in the bush communing with nature yet you are actually in the heart of a Gauteng city suburb. It was a fun morning of balloons, laughs, Johan's magic card tricks and mentalism, celebrations, delicious coffee, tasty pizzas and ending off with divine gelato ice creams from Aroma Coffee Roastery, a delightful scrumptious pit stop before heading back home to Egoli.
Morgan - 34 suits you and Titan - who turned recently also had his 9th birthday - no party for him but he got a steak
The thorn between the roses - proud Mama Bear flanked by her awesome sons, Tristan and Morgan
Morgan and Alyssa
I am still in shock that "my secret project/not so secret project" is so close to being launched on Sunday, 2 April 2023. It feels quite surreal that I am finally about to have my words published in a book form. And to all who have phoned, sent messages, e-mails, voice notes etc upon receiving the invitation for my book launch thank you so much - there will, in due course, be an e-book version available via Amazon too, the details will follow in due course.
I do not know precisely when the desire to publish my words started germinating but it did - I think it was about 22 years ago. I have always loved words and reading; my love of reading and books was instilled in me from such an early age by my parents and when Morgan and Tristan were tiny babies and I was breastfeeding them, I would read aloud whatever I was reading - of course I mastered that art of multitasking! I always have a collection of books which I am reading or going to read in my bedroom ; love word games and puzzles, love nosing around second hand bookshops, book sales and in fact any bookshop will do. Creative Writing was one of my elective subjects at Ithaca High School in Ithaca, New York in Grade 12 and I got such a thrill when Mr Pullman read out aloud my very first written assignment to the entire class. There I was a stranger in a sea of 1499 other high school students, knowing nobody and in the first few weeks, my words were being read aloud to the entire class while I sat trying desperately hard to be inconspicuous and shrinking into my desk chair (an impossible feat when you are 6 foot tall) while inside my heart was pounding and I was quietly glowing.
Sentences, stories and words have spun cobwebs in my head for so many years but the motion of putting them into writing either in a journal or typing them up on a computer always escaped me, until we were faced with Tristan's battle with addiction and he willingly gave me permission to tell his story, my story, our family's story which hopefully will help at least one person. May it indeed be a journey of hope for at least one reader.
Work load and expectations permitting, along with our electricity challenges, I am busy compiling the photos for the book on a website so if a reader would like to view our selection of photos which are part and parcel of my book, they can do so, this is a work in progress and yesterday's loadshedding at 2pm which only ended at 9.45pm really hindered my plan of action for this project for the day. It was so frustrating because not only could I not do more work on the photo project but obviously I could not get my blog typed and published.
As much as I do not want to feel like I am always talking about loadshedding, it does impact our lives in South Africa so much. Our lives are, to the extent of doing laundry, cooking meals etc dominated by the app which tells you when you will have the miracle of electricity and when you won't. When I need to go into the office I need to factor loadshedding into my departure times and ensure that I leave Sandton well before loadshedding starts at home as sitting in traffic because of loadshedding is not only soul-destroying but frustrating. And this morning we suddenly realised that our area had been switched to another block's schedule and loadshedding so you can plot, plan, schedule and time your lives but you are, a hostage to Eskom's foibles. I am just rolling my eyes hard as I type this!
It's been a tough time emotionally for me - and still is. I suffered a panic attack on Thursday afternoon. The fact that I am trying to white knuckle weaning off anti-depressants did not help when suddenly I had that familiar pain in the chest, I felt I was drowning and suffocating and I was sobbing. The last time I had such an attack I ended up in Olivedale ER (no, not last year when I had the abscess ordeal) about 11 years ago - I never even had a panic attack during those dark and hellish days and weeks of Tristan's active cocaine addiction though I did of course have regular emotional breakdowns and meltdowns - you will have to read the book to find out more!
I took some time out to calm myself down and when I reported on this event happening, the response of "relax" not only almost launched my cellphone into a frisbee, but came close to bringing on another attack. That response shocked me leaving me feel as though I had been punched in my solar plexus. BUT I am still standing, wobbling and right now its not a good idea to ask me too intently how I am - I will recover, revive and regain my equilibrium. My ongoing shoulder and arm issues don't help matters and I am looking forward to being healed enough to start sessions with a biokineticist - thankfully I have the very best bio in the Jo'burg northern suburbs to go to; she is a dear friend, a former colleague and an incredible biokineticist and person.
Being able to connect with my family and friends always buoys me up and really is soul food; and I have been fortunate to carve out time to indulge in much needed soul food this month and yesterday morning Alyssa, Morgan, my Mom, Johan and me enjoyed an early breakfast together as my Mom was not able to join us in the "Pretoria Road Trip" celebrations for Morgan's birthday because of her mobility challenges. Unfortunately Tristan and Skye had a very busy weekend so they were sadly not able to join us but we had a lovely breakfast at Thyme on Nicol which is situated at a big Pick 'n Pay supermarket. Great coffee, tasty food easy venue to access and its simple and wholesome which is our style. We are not fans of pretentious over-priced places which invariably serve up less than mediocre food all for the possibility of "being seen and being part of the trendy set". Not our style at all and will never be.
Morgan and Alyssa embark on a holiday flying and road-tripping to Cape Town, exploring the greater Western Cape and Karoo for the 2 weddings they are attending, and holidaying - they depart on Wednesday and may they have an incredible and memorable time; happy and smooth landings and may you always arrive safely at all your destinations.
Where I have been in the last 2 weeks (not many places) - My personal tips and spots around Jo'burg -
Scorcery Coffee Roasters - https://sorcerycoffee.co.za/ - at Scorcery Ruins Wapadrand
Aroma Coffee Roastery - https://aromacoffee.co.za/ - The Village, Hazelwood, Pretoria
Silver Birch Cafe - Lifestyle Centre, http://www.thesilverbirch.co.za/ (yes again!)
3@1 Honeydew - https://3at1honeydew.co.za/ - brilliant for printing personalised/designed mugs
Thyme on Nicol - http://www.thymeonnicol.co.za/
What have I been reading/are reading?
Almost French - a New Life in Paris - by Sarah Turnbull - a delightful twist on a travel memoir
What have I been watching on the small screen?
The Apprentice UK - every week I cringe at the lack of logic, talent, business skills, knowledge of the contestants on this show and yet I return for more each week; and
Pointless - BBC brilliant quiz show
My usual staple of "bubblegum" tv
Murdaugh Murders - A Southern Scandal (on Netflix) - horrifying documentary series of a "self-appointed" Southern family dynasty - murder, theft, corruption and so much more (having followed a couple of podcasts about this family and the recent trial of the Murdaugh patriach , this was very interesting and shocking viewing for me)
The Law According to Lidia Poet (Netflix) - dramatised series based on a true story of the first female lawyer in Italy
What have I been listening to?
The Damage Report
Scamfluencers
Mel Robbins Podcast
The Coldesst Case in Lamaramie
Deep Cover - Never Seen Again
What came next
Stolen Hearts
And I have been binge listening on Audible Matthew Perry's Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing. A very brutal, honest, raw, tragic and at times hilarious account of Matthew Perry's life particularly his fight against "the Big Terrible Thing" - his drug addiction and alcoholism. The end of his Audible book brought me to tears.
I highly recommend listening or reading his book.
